Colour of language

   

 This is something which I wanted to write about for quite a long time. Colours of languages. Though I am a Malayali by birth, Malayalam is not the language close to my heart. I have been taught in English with Hindi as second language. English has been given greater prestige than Malayalam in the schools and the lower middle class society in which I grew up. 

    Moreover, English was considered an escape language. "You can use Malayalam only in Kerala. With English you can go anywhere". That was the kind of encouragement received for English learning. 

    Fluency in English was something that I craved for. I imagined myself talking in fluent English and impressing and astonishing everyone around me. 

    Because I grew up in a village where there was a scarcity of English teachers in the school, where social studies teachers were forcefully assigned to teach English. Plus, I lived in my cocoon not being aware of the world revolving around me, giving unnecessary importance to myself.

    Yes, so English was the medium of my education. And I happened to read more in English than in my mother tongue. Now, a slow reader in ability, who always chews and juices out words and phrases in my mind, reads English faster than Malayalam. 

The poet Kamala Das wrote, "I speak three languages, write in

                                                    Two, dream in one".

I speak two languages - Malayalam and English and bits of Telugu and Hindi. Write and dream in English. Mostly because I have my degrees in English Literature. And partly because English is my escape language. It is through this medium I learned about the wider world. About people, their thoughts and ways of life.

    On the other hand, my mother tongue is linked to my childhood insecurities. It is colourless or always sandal coloured. For me, limited in scope. No adventure. Conventional. Full of cliches.

    

I saw myself as a plain, dark-skinned insignificant person who would look ridiculous if I chose any other colours. The language was plain and direct, any show of emotions was considered shameful. Pinned to ordinariness. Anything out of the way was frowned upon. Because it was the language my people spoke, the language of my family and culture. The village was limited in scope as far as I was concerned. 

    As travel teaches and broadens the mind, it was English which took me out into the world. English became analogous to freedom and a new me and added colour and daring to my thoughts. 

Telugu to me is a loud language with a komban meesa.

Tamil in my ears is a soothing language with the undertones of a flowing river.

Hindi, a 'difficult' friend in need.

Answers

Religion and its practice have been the question. The book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari provided the answers. He calls religion "our greatest invention", made possible by human beings' ability to believe in fiction. Religions give stability to human institutions like marriage and nationhood. Our belief in religion makes it possible to maintain social order.

Here, religion can be anything from Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam to Nazism and Communism. They are all essentially belief systems some of which are based on superhuman laws while others like Nazism and communism on natural laws of natural selection and economics.

Religions based on superhuman laws preach - the existence of an unseen God, heaven, hell, and most importantly fear. Fear of punishment after death, in the next life, karma cycle, and innumerable baseless superstitions. And many of us willingly believe in all of it, bind ourselves to moral codes, and live our lives in constant fear.

“You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death in monkey heaven.” (Harari)

Because monkeys do not believe in fiction. But humans do.

We are super strange beings with a fantastic capacity to believe and act in contradictions. We believe in an 'omnipotent and benevolent' God, the saviour and somehow defend 'Him' ourselves when suffering knocks at us.

Human beings!

Letter to my 15 year old daughter

     I am writing this when you are half way at 9 years old. We are so proud of our little girl, the chatty, sassy, and brilliant girl you are today. At fifteen, I am sure that you would be way ahead of my own fifteen-year-old self. I am giving my very best to take you there.  

    Today it is women's day and Holi. I enjoyed the way you celebrated Holi today and I am thinking of the woman you are heading to. I want you to enjoy every bit you can. 

    Love, laugh and be kind. Reason, Compassion and Responsibility. May these be your guiding principles in life. Mould yourself to become the kind of person you dream to be. Dream, dare and strive earnestly to take yourself there. It is not just the profession I mean but the person too.

    Focus on your education. Gain your foothold. Gain financial independence. Then you get to spread your wings. You can be many things, an artist, a writer, a violinist, or whatever you find interesting all at the same time.

    Do not do anything which would cost your self respect. Me and your father, we would always love you as we love you today. Books I suggest you to (re)read at 15 - Becoming by Michelle Obama, Unfinished by Priyanka Chopra.